During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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