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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
