i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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