38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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