i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
wow bdsm is so cute
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
