people are starting to question the shark bite story
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
