Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize