There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
