P.S. I can't hear my feet
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
