i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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