drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
