I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
