I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
