I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
