my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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