so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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