You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
