i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
