Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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