Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
