direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize