Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
