I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
