why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
