she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
