garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize