Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
