My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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