I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize