If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
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