I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
