did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
