I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
