So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
