as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
