I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
