I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
