she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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