I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
