No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
