i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you win again, gameday.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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