so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
