she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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