I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
