While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
