i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
