So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
