I wish my penis had an off switch
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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