Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
