I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize