yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
