I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
