is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
