is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
someone owes me an orgasm
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
