Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize