I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You were trust falling into bushes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
