My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
